THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP YOU'LL EVER HAVE
by Hailey Hechtman
Contributing Writer, KBI Inspire Magazine
Twitter: @HaileyHechtman IG: @hailey.hechtman
Hailey Hechtman is a social impact leader, mental health advocate and Executive Director of Causeway Work Centre. She is passionate about inspiring positive change through community collaboration, constant learning and self-reflection. Watch her interview on 'Life Outside the Box' here.
"It’s in these captivating entanglements with my own reflection that I see all of the people I have been. I see the little girl who spent hours singing to herself full of the purest joy. I see the awkward teenager making sense of her own needs while standing on the tightrope of everyone else’s."
I stare into the mirror. In an instant all of it comes flooding forward.
The things that I love deeply about myself — the curves of my smile, the brightness in my eyes, the warmth that I showcase with a quick hello. The things that I have been through – the darkest moments where I have felt invisible, unworthy and insignificant. The strengths that I embody, the talents that I showcase, the failures that I have sulked over. All of it becomes apparent with the gaze I take towards myself.
It’s funny how we can spend days, months, even years without really looking at ourselves. Without appreciating the complexity of our layers, without acknowledging the evolution that we have been through no matter if we are 15 or 50. We are not right now where we started.
It’s in these captivating entanglements with my own reflection that I see all of the people I have been. I see the little girl who spent hours singing to herself full of the purest joy. I see the awkward teenager making sense of her own needs while standing on the tightrope of everyone else’s. I witness the young woman battling with self-hatred for a body that is only trying to house her safely and yet she tosses words of disdain, punishing herself with reduced calories and endless hours of exercise. I see the one in her 20s who is building her career, finding the scope that she can sink her teeth into and the confidence to sell the vision for collaboration she wants to bring into the world of work. And I gaze lovingly at the now 30-something who has let herself feel the feelings that she for so long desperately avoided, who is finally starting to love the angles, crinkles and glowy spots that make her up.
If you, like me, are a person, one with thoughts and feelings, I encourage you to take a few moments to map out your road to here. The things that you have been able to build, the barriers that you have stepped over or through, the insecurities that you are still polishing and the glorious features that make up your shell and the goo that lives within. The most impactful, realest, deepest, darkest and stunning relationship that you will ever have in this life is with yourself. Appreciate that human, the one who is imperfect, who is trying and most of all, who is you.