SINGLE AND NOT WANTING TO MINGLE: How to be Single in Your Twenties (in no particular order)

by Helena Nikitopoulos

 

Contributing Writer Helena Nikitopoulos is currently writing a novel titled, “Guide to Being Single in Your Twenties“ where she addresses all the things people can do to fully embrace their 20’s when single. Stay tuned for more information at her Instagram @helenanikitop or @wordsbyhelena.

Tip 1: Learn more about yourself by journaling regularly

The most important thing to do when embracing your “single era” is to embrace and learn more about yourself. Make a list of everything you feel defines you (e.g., your favourite hobbies, your dislikes, your goals for the year, what makes you happy, what you want to work on, your favourite place to travel). By journaling every day, you can start to understand what makes you YOU and then reflect on your earlier journaling entries to fill in the blanks of what you may not have known about yourself then. You could also write about your day and record the things you enjoyed and didn’t enjoy. What we might not ascertain is how often our days can reflect our inner selves so grab a pen and let your true self emerge on the empty pages of your

notebook.

 

Tip 2:  Learn to do things independently

When I was little, I found it hard to go anywhere alone; I always had to ask someone to come join me. As I grew up, I learned how to do more things on my own. Whether that was spending more time on my own and getting comfortable with my own presence or completing a school or work-related task by myself. It is the same with becoming single. You are used to having a best friend, a shadow following you and protecting you but when you become single, you have to relearn how to be on your own again, how to be comfortable with your own presence again. It is so important to do things on your own, like going to a coffee shop, because you have to get used to being your own shadow again, your own best friend because how can you love yourself if you don’t even know how to enjoy your own personal time.

 

Tip 3: Spend more time in nature

Something I have thoroughly enjoyed doing and what has really centered me is watching nature. Watching a cluster of tree branches shake in the wind or raindrops dance down  a  stream  mesmerizes, calms and relaxes me. When you are away from the stresses of life, the pressure to be with someone or find someone immediately, you can always count on nature to soothe you, remind you of how trivial every stress in life is. Sometimes people confuse the idea of being on your own as a sign to work harder in your career and not waste time so that when you finally find the one you are ready. However, I am here to tell you that you don’t need to busy yourself 24/7. In fact, these moments alone and within nature are crucial in decreasing your stress levels and allowing yourself to be more present in the moment and in your life overall.

 

Tip 4: Spend more time with people who bring out the best in you 

This has always been a hard tip to follow because how do you know who brings out the best in you? Well, after finally finding people in my circle who genuinely love and care for me, I can say that if they make you feel happy and safe but also free to be yourself then those are your people. I can always tell if they make me feel good if I walk away super happy or if I like who I am with them. Am I less stressed or more empathetic when I’m with them? Am I more upbeat? Calmer? It is always good to reflect on how you feel around the people in your life and how they make you feel. Once you surround yourself with people who make you happy to be alive and bring out your best self, you will start to discover and embrace the qualities you love about yourself even more.

 

Being on your own is not just about finding other things to fill in that “empty void” but focusing on yourself more and discovering who you are as a person. There is so much freedom in being on your own and doing what you enjoy so take advantage of that, hold onto that feeling and most of all – enjoy it.