By Tyler Smith,

Instagram: @smitty269 and @duckybrandapparel

Follow Unsinkable at @unsinkableyouth and @unsinkablestories

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"Unsinkable Youth" is a platform which shares the powerful stories, experiences and insights of young people. It was launched earlier this year under the "Unsinkable" umbrella, created by four time Olympian Silken Laumann to empower people to achieve better mental, physical and spiritual health. Below, Tyler Smith shares his journey and his story with us, and how he connected with Unsinkable Youth. To learn more, visit their website at:  weareunsinkable.com 

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My name is Tyler Smith. I am from Leduc, Alberta and am a survivor of the April 6th, 2018 Humboldt Broncos bus crash. Ever since I was young, sport has been a very dominant aspect of my life and has ultimately shaped me into the person I am today. 

 

A few days after the accident, I woke up in the hospital. I had no idea what was going on. Not having any memory of that day or the few days that followed led me to eventually having some questions for my family, but with a total of eight injuries from the crash I was in no shape to grasp everything that happened because of the pain medication I was on. A couple surgeries and thirteen days in hospital later, I was on my way back to Leduc. Recovery began with many days cooped up in my house taking my medication, going to physiotherapy, heading to doctor’s appointments after doctor’s appointments just wanting to get back to my normal state physically and also mentally which I knew was going to quite possibly never happen after that day.

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"As a team we always had each other’s backs no matter who was feeling down or needed a quick lift. I think a big thing we always remembered was to go back to, “It’s a great day to be a Bronco.” We all firmly believed that, so whoever needed to hear it, or be reminded of it, was definitely taken care of by fellow teammates."

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As a 20-year-old kid you never expect anything in your life like that to take place, let alone be a part of it. There was no way to prepare for something of that magnitude because the bus is your safe haven as a hockey player. The bus is a place for laughs with the team and making many good memories that can now only be cherished from photos and videos. But now being on a bus is forever associated with the day that shook the nation, a day no one saw coming, and a day that I will never forget. Sixteen of the people I spent close to everyday with are now no longer here. Thirteen of my teammates left being survivors of the Humboldt bus crash not knowing what comes next after something that will never make sense to any of us.

 

The question of ‘why’ will forever linger in all of our minds. Why us? Why would this happen? Why that day? Questions that will never have answers. Many people have asked me, “How do you do it?” and unfortunately, I do not have an answer to that simple question. I give many thanks to the support from people across the country but also the world. And I give full credit to the constant support from my family, friends and teammates who are fighting this everyday battle with me. Some days it’s hard to get out of bed or to want to do anything because at the end of the day we lost sixteen amazing people and it’s hard to grasp why they were taken from us.

 

I find that bouncing back is an everyday process. I can’t jump ahead thinking everything will be healed and normal in a couple weeks because, quite frankly, I think it’s next to impossible to completely heal mentally from something like this. But I believe I do know one thing, those that are no longer here with us would want my teammates and me to get back to as normal as we can. They are watching over us and sometimes it’s hard to know that, so you just have to believe.

 

As a team we always had each other’s backs no matter who was feeling down or needed a quick lift. I think a big thing we always remembered was to go back to, “It’s a great day to be a Bronco.” We all firmly believed that, so whoever needed to hear it, or be reminded of it, was definitely taken care of by fellow teammates. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a specific time or place where I can remember it coming into my mind that they were watching over me. I more just believe that every day. It’s important to me to have that belief and feel that connection from up above, so wherever I may be I try to remember what they would want me to do or how they would want me to feel. I find a little look up to the sky or a quick chat with them helps me regroup and start fresh if something isn’t going my way.

 

With the accident came a lot of physical struggles but also many mental struggles. Since April 6th, I’ve slowly come to learn more and more how important mental health is. I was always somebody who hash-tagged Bell Let’s Talk on that day, but didn’t understand the full meaning of mental health and how much it can affect you. If you’re that person who struggles to put yourself first and talk about what needs to be talked about, then trust me when I say this, I’ve been in your shoes. I was always the one welcoming other people’s problems into my life to try and help the best I could to make sure that individual was doing okay and felt cared for. But after hiding from my mental health problems and pushing them to the back burner, I realized how important it is to open up and put myself first or else a rapid downhill spiral could occur. Talking to somebody and realizing that people are here to help allowed me start getting back to my normal personality without having to hide things.

 

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