HERE'S WHY YOU SHOULD GO PLAY TWISTER:
How to Know if Your Relationship is Right for You
by Helena Nikitopoulos
IG @helenawrites @fittforthefuture
Helena Nikitopoulos is a Fourth year English and Film Student at Western University. When she is not at school, she resides in Oakville, Ontario with her parents, two younger sisters, and her cockapoo, Luna. Follow her on Instagram: @helenawrites and @helenafitness.
"For the majority of my teenage years, I always thought that love was enough. That if two people loved each other, they would always find a way to be together. Now, looking back, at the age of 21, I realize that thought couldn’t be any farther from the truth."
Three years ago, on February 8th, I experienced one of the most boring dates of my life. Instead of lounging on my couch, watching The Office for the fifth time, I was at a different house, more specifically – an Opera House. What made matters worse was that while I sat in my seat, bored out of my mind and (embarrassingly) dozing off, my partner of one year sat there quite literally bouncing in his seat. He mouthed every word and quietly sang every note as if he had seen the same performance every day of his life and somehow enjoyed it more each time (which now that I think about it, probably has more truth to it than I realized at the time). As a music fanatic, it was his favourite thing in the world. But as a wellness and fitness enthusiast, I couldn’t be more disgruntled. Seated in a grand theatre squished in between dozens of warm bodies, I suddenly felt cold.
For the majority of my teenage years, I always thought that love was enough. That if two people loved each other, they would always find a way to be together. Now, looking back, at the age of 21, I realize that thought couldn’t be any farther from the truth. Two people may be in love, but a relationship won’t last if they don’t share the same interests or find enjoyment in similar things. So, while Harry may love watching sports, Taylor may find them too aggressive and competitive. And while Charlie may enjoy reading and painting, Tom may find them both incredibly boring and uninteresting. In both situations, both partners are left with nothing to do, therefore, emphasising how important it is for a couple to share mutual interests.
"I soon realized that I would rather know what was on my partner’s mind (even if it wasn’t good) than remain oblivious to his internal feelings (or have him be upset without knowing why). So, if you or your partner continuously struggle bringing up your true feelings, remind yourself that it will help you both in the long run if you remain open and honest with one another."
That being said, no two people have to have the exact same interests but there should be some common ground between them. After all, what will a couple do together if they can’t agree on what to do in the first place? And is it fair if one person finds themselves constantly miserable while the other consistently exerts levels of happiness? Of course, it isn’t. Both people need to be enjoying themselves or what is the point of the relationship in the first place? So, as I kick off this article, my first tip for anyone currently dating or wanting to date is to make sure you and your partner have common interests so that neither one of you ends up dozing off in the middle of an Opera performance like I did…
What I’ve also realized in my current relationship is that while I have found someone who actually enjoys cooking for the both of us and loves to workout for hours on end (which I wouldn’t recommend to anyone thinking I was serious when I said that), I sometimes find it hard to bring up things that upset me. After all, who wants to ruin the season finale of Breaking Bad by bringing up the good old, “so, we need to talk” conversation starter? I mean, I surely don’t. I would much rather sit and watch Walter White act out his final scenes… wouldn’t you?
However, I soon realized that I would rather know what was on my partner’s mind (even if it wasn’t good) than remain oblivious to his internal feelings (or have him be upset without knowing why). So, if you or your partner continuously struggle bringing up your true feelings, remind yourself that it will help you both in the long run if you remain open and honest with one another. Also, when you do bring up your own problems, try the 1 minute on, 1 minute off rule where each person gets to talk for 1 minute while the other listens (and vice versa). As someone who has frequently used this helpful tool, I urge you to try it!
One of the last tips I believe helps maintain a healthy relationship is to commit. Now you might be thinking, I’ve already committed, I mean doesn’t agreeing to play twister with your girlfriend’s younger sister every time you come over scream commitment? And while, yes, agreeing to spend quality time with your partner’s family does show levels of patience and dedication, you still haven’t actually played twister.
In other words, I’ve noticed that it is easy to say you will do something without actually doing it. For this very reason, it is important to promise only what you know you can commit to and then transforming your words into actions. It won’t only make your partner feel good when you actually do the dishes you said you would do, but will also make you feel incredible knowing you are the sole person responsible for their current state of happiness. So, basically what I’m saying is, go play twister with your partner’s sibling because while you may be able to resist the twist, you definitely wouldn’t want to miss your partner’s jubilant smile when you do.